I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
