At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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