I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
