i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
