Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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