I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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