I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
