I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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