Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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