Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
