You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
