took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
