Buhtt sex?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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