Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
