i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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