Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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