I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
