hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
