Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
