Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize