i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
