Sponge bath it is.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
