i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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