i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
