she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
