I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize