Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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