eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
