In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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