i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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