You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
