I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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