Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
