Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
