So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
