he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
