I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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