needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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