your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
