Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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