went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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