I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize