I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
