Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it's like iHOP with fire
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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