Your face is a jimmy john
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
