I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
