Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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