I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
