Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize