Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
