if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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