I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize