He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
