I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize