where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
