She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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