I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
