I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
