Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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