what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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