i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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