Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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