I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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