Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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