the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
farters have to be the big spoon...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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