the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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