So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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